Arctic Pie Surprise

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Categories: Extinction, Greed, Sociopathic Behavior, more

Ingredients:

• Oil companies (see our cartel recipe)
• Mining companies (yup, here too)
• Adulterated media outlets (ditto)
• One heaping cup of various corporate support entities with lobbyists–available under most slimy rocks
• Graft
• Two fistfuls of corrupt politicians
• One set of dead Kyoto protocols–you can substitute the Rio Accords
• Thirty gigatons of CO₂ per year, or more, to taste
• Methane hydrates as an accelerator, careful not to use too much!
• Five-thousand dead polar bears HINT: Add other assorted wildlife for zip.
• A minimum of a million square kilometers of reduced reflectivity–Yum!

Directions:

• Preheat planet to 35 degrees K (plus or minus 2 degrees K)
•  Ignore the concept of albedo
• Make dough from first six ingredients
• Mix in other ingredients, adding graft as necessary to enhance consistency
• Drop the dough around the planet, making sure to keep it cool
• Divide up the Arctic pie
• Drill, rape, and pillage the planet ignoring all morality and good sense
• Continue cooking planet at enhanced temperature to ensure the open wilderness
• Devour wilderness
• ENJOY!

Yield: Short term profits, enhanced non-linearity, and extinction of various species

Comments (1): By lucriciaborga – We loved this recipe. Prepared with an albedo reduction and mixed with an AO (Arctic Oscillation) sorbet, this meal is a real crowd pleaser. We serve it alongside rendered Amazon greens topped with corn syrup. My young ones don’t like it much, but tough crap on them. We will make money off this recipe. Plus, there is the added health benefit of a reduced thermohaline circulation. That’s good news for you heart healthy gourmands. It means less salt concentration in our oceans, and remember that increased acidity. So don’t devour the Arctic pie like a pig. Even if you are one 🙂 !

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