“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s a miserable stormy day here in the Midwest. Welcome to opening day of 2011 Tornado Season. I am your host Random Mishap and this WSPN, a station for all seasons–with apologies.”
“This year we will be covering the 2011 Tornado Season in depth, with reports from ravaged cities, destroyed malls, mangled homes, and incapacitated manufacturing locations–in addition to trailer parks and the empty prairie. On a lighter note: the President did not throw the first bit of debris from this season’s opener–as has been the tradition in the previous administration. Due to a rules change, a member of Congress has handled that task. Now this message.”