Press Release

February 22, 2012

The Flatland Institute has issued the following statement concerning the insurgent called The Third Dimension.

“Earlier this evening, the Third Dimension, a prominent figure in the topological movement, confessed to adding a new dimension to fractal research done by The Flatland Institute. An effort to suggest our planet contains not only the dimensions of Length and Width but the dimension of Depth as well–it was all in an attempt to discredit and embarrass a group that disagrees with his view that there are three dimensions (or more) to any discussion, rather than two dimensions (right and wrong), as our Flatland researchers have proven.”

The Third Dimension’s crime is a serious one. The fractal (a fraction of a dimension) added to the computers and various internet sites contained unregulated information about Flatland. Indicating the existence of Depth, the release has violated the Flatland Institute’s most trusted precept of fostering two-dimensional discussions in two-dimensional research for a two-dimension society.

An additional document by the Third Dimension has been represented as coming from The Flatland Institute and it purports to set out Flatland’s strategies on denial of Depth.  Read more...

Time For:

The Futile Party

Platform!

For a while now the term Feudalism has had dire repute. Associated to a period of disease, upheaval, a misuse of power, a lack of knowledge, economic disasters, the Black Plague, constant wars, and the Crusades, the word Feudal is often confused with terms like: useless, pointless, fruitless, or ineffectual. In fact, the governmental form known as Feudalism–our party root–has worldwide recognition, brand awareness, and longevity. Even with the left wing media associating Feudalism to the Dark Ages.

So what is Feudalism and how might it be practiced today? Simply put, Neo-Feudalism is similar to classical Feudalism, which rather than being a period of chaos, is a system in which an owner lets out assets to an individual, or groups of individuals who pay a rental on the assets by doing work, military service, or servitude to the court. Often maligned, Feudalism is actually a period of limited government controls, a highly diversified free market economy, rule by an informed economic elite, a clear reporting structure, and a population tied to nature.

What could be bad?  Read more...

I am a returns specialist in Hades. In my job, ya’ get to meet all kinds of people. Oh, you’re wondering what I am doing here and how come I have this job. I admit this job is a lot worse than I thought I could get. Just so you know, with the economic downturn, it was tough to find a position. I took the first job available to me. I should have known it was not as advertised; the first interview with HR was with some demon that smelled like sulfur. Then there was the management interview, if you can call it that. All I can say is my friends in the Nazi Party had nothing on this guy. So we clicked. Then of course, the last interview was with the big guy himself. It was a hell of an interview. I took the job. What the heck; marry the night. For a while, it was interesting with the coming of the Second World War and all. Then afterwards, those trials and things, damn it was like old home week seeing my old cronies. I didn’t get to talk to them. My friends never got near the returns desk. Every one of them buzzed on by, with me coughing up their smoke.  Read more...

…To Our New Renewable Fuel Source: Coal!

How can this be? You ask. Any idiot knows that coal is formed from organic matter compressed and heated by mass and time. And by any measure, a fuel source that takes three-hundred-million years to renew hardly fits the term Renewable.

Well think again. Apparently, we are not dealing with just any idiot here. Or even one idiot. Which reminds me of that old IT saying: “Strive to idiot-proof your software knowing the real problem is they are building bigger and better idiots every day.”

But I digress. We have the coal industry aligned with six congress-people wanting to formalize coal as a renewable resource. Also on board is the National Chicken Council (seriously), National Cattlemen’s Beef Association, and the Grocery Manufacturers Association. All of whom claim coal is a renewable fuel source. Has avarice finally corrupted our incorruptible politicians? Impossible, I know. So what could be motivating these erstwhile leaders? Let’s look at the logic. It makes my finger tingle just to write that. I must confess that sometimes I only type with one finger. Guess which one.

Okay, so here are their thoughts…

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zzzzzzzz  Read more...

Entertainment:

Another talent-challenged starlet was arrested yesterday in Los Angeles on drug charges and murder. In 1947, the famous Black Dahlia Murder took place in the same city. Murder charges are quite typical this time of year…

Crime:

Today in New York City, thirteen people were killed when an unemployed engineer destroyed a subway car. Of course, this is not the only time a subway car has been destroyed. In fact, this tragedy doesn’t even rate in the top ten. In 1930s, on the eve of World War Two, a pair of subway cars collided killing…

The Stock Market:

The Dow dropped 600 points in one hour today in a repeat of the flash-crash of a few years ago. Said one analyst, “This drop has nothing to do with tomorrow’s jobs report.” Rumors of insider trading have been labeled as preposterous due to a lack of proof…

Food Safety:

Eighty people across ten states have died from E-coli contamination at three fast food chains over the last twenty-four hours. A spokesperson for the hamburger industry hailed the deaths; stating that they were, in fact, a major step forward for food safety. “Deaths from tainted meat were less in 2011 than either 2007 or 2008.” The spokesperson also suggested that reporters should focus on the progress made by industry rather than sensationalizing tragedy…  Read more...

SANCHO:
“Nickel plus hydrogen equals copper.”

QUIXOTE:
“And this means what?”

SANCHO:
“Yup.”

QUIXOTE:
“I said what.”

SANCHO:
“Exactly.”

QUIXOTE:
“What?”

SANCHO:
“We’ve already agreed on that.”

QUIXOTE:
“What?”

SANCHO:
“Watt–that’s what you said. WATT.”

QUIXOTE.
“I know what I said. And so what?”

SANCHO:
“Good point; I guess you do sew the nickel and hydrogen protons together.”

QUIXOTE:
“Why?”

SANCHO:
“I don’t suppose that a response of ‘Second Base’ will help us here…Okay, let’s try this: Cold fusion, that’s what.”

QUIXOTE:
“What? Who said anything about cold fusion?”

SANCHO:
“What did you think I was talking about when I mentioned nickel, hydrogen and copper? Nickel plus hydrogen equals copper and joules–watts if you will.

QUIXOTE:
“Now you are talking about wealth, you know, nickels and jewels.”

SANCHO:
“Personal bias obliterates information exchange once again.”

QUIXOTE:
“What?”

SANCHO:
“Quixote, I am talking about an energy system with potential–cold fusion.”

QUIXOTE:
“There is no such thing. Cold fusion is somewhere out in left field.”

SANCHO:
“Why.”

QUIXOTE:
“I don’t know why.”

SANCHO:
“And here we are, rounding third…”  Read more...

From: “The Kings and You”

(With apologies to Thailand and her people)

Ana-politician:
We’ve just been introduced,
I do not know your wells,
But reelection calls me,
So funding draws me to your hell.

So many politicians,
Are in the lobbyist’s arms.
It made me think…
That you and I might be
Similarly occupied.

Shall we shale?
(Dumb, dumb, dumb)
On a greased cloud of donors shall we lie?
(Dumb, dumb, dumb)
Shall we pump?
(Dumb, dumb, dumb)
Shall we say it’s just “Good-biz” and mean “Good-lies”?
(Dumb, dumb, dumb)

Or perchance,
When the last little drop has left the sands,
(Dumb, dumb, dumb)
Shall we lie there together,
Wallowing sows in our blubber,
And shall shale be my old romance?

On the clear understanding
That this graft of things does happen,
Shall we pump?
Shall we frack?
Shall we dance?

The Kings and Queens:
One, and two, and three and?

Ana-politician:
On the cancer-cloud, shale-oil, shall we fly?

The Kings and Queens:
Three mil?

Ana-politician:
Then, when the next, mega-storm has wrecked a state.
(Dumb, dumb, dumb)
Shall we hide somewhere together?
Fearing mobs and vicious weather,
Or in jail…Finding new romance?  Read more...

Final Exam – Fall Semester 2011

Dr. Nwo

Question 1 — Choose A or B

Which assertions are the hallmarks of an enlightened oligarchy?

A)

1. Anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance is an unavoidable bump in the road for our species; sadly, climate change is now uncontrollable.
2. The dangers of climate change are classless and equally unsafe for all.
3. An informative media campaign providing clarity on the coming transformations can enlist positive political will.
4. Supporting the free exchange of ideas engages the best and the brightest into a multi-decadal climate solution.
5. Redundancy will help. Spread your controls and amplify transparency of process.
6. Enhance support for research impacting the affects of the changing climate without turning the planet into a science experiment. Augment food production, develop GHG neutral power, facilitate clean water supplies, and update national defense priorities as well as economic models. Foster resilience in families, communities, and nations.

B)  Read more...

1. The changing climate will lead to crisis. Crisis will lead to civil unrest.
2. Acquire more power to withstand the crisis.
3. The ignorance of others is your strength. Undermine science.

“

Grim Corporation

Interoffice  Memo

______________________________________________

“It’s Grim–Have We Got a Fairy Tale You!”

______________________________________________

Your outburst of uncontrollable clucking, followed by pecking at the corn-fiber carpet in our meeting today was unprofessional. Corporate policy requires all barnyard proceedings to take place outside departmental meetings. As well, corporate plans will change from time to time. Our corporate strategy now declares that the sky is not falling.

That said, CL, your group has had two-hundred years of predicting the sky will fall. Your one-minded message has generated substantial long-term growth and numerous bonus’ that by any measure were chicken feed–and it has put you into a rut. Even so, all the way up the tuffet, from the Spider to the Little Miss, we appreciate your hard work.

When I began work on this article, I had plans to chaff the participants of ICOA, the International Civil Aviation Organization; International air carriers and their backers, who, in a parade of paradox, have juked through the major cities of the planet for last ten years under the flags of ecological concern and integrated commerce for the purpose of hustling atmospheric physics. Displaying no shame in stalling climate remediation, even though ICOA had been instituted to design and invoke that remediation, their hypocrisy called to me like drums to the march. I had to respond.

An easy thing to do, I thought. A quick overview of the science, a blistering attack on economic shortsightedness, a heart rendering, yet elegant discourse on the lunacy of introducing GHGs directly into the atmosphere–exact coordinates of where GHGs will do the most harm–followed by a witty summation. All wrapped in jaunty costumes of urbane mirth.

Paint the target. I’m going in hot. Ready to unleash my dancing Valkyries of alliterative metaphors into the sneaky skies, mouth watering with an anticipatory wash–sanctimony, superiority, and a pristine environment–my ensemble of colorful decking lay in wait upon a float of thought. I began to pound a keyboard cadence.  Read more...

1. Administering protection of the atmosphere hurts our economy
2. The environment is the air we breathe
3. Wealth and power control the media and we are powerless to change that
4. The environment is the water we drink
5. Legal proceedings bury the truth, ignore the risks, and shield gluttony
6. The environment is the food we eat
7. Morality is a technique for herding fools since attack-for-gain is empire
8. The environment, our ecosystem, is this planet
9. Using technology our children might adapt, because we are a clever species
10. In this entire universe, just this planet sustains the existence of our kind

Only the grifter gambles that the economy holds sway over protection of an ecosystem supporting our survival.

You may not remember it, but the noun weather once had simple adjectives associated with it like hot, wet, cold, rainy, sunny, and sometimes stormy. Then, a dozen or so years ago, new adjectives began to sidle up next to weather: wacky, bizarre, cyclical, unpredictable, and coincidental. This last year, an extreme class of adjectives has come forward; words usually reserved for war, or other cataclysmic events. Adjectives like heartbreaking, devastating, massive, catastrophic, calamitous, and threat-multiplier, have all emerged next to weather. This shift has fostered worldwide concern about anthropogenic forcing of the adjective balance and a call for a reduction in adjective use.

Said one stockholder, “Adjectives must be reduced to pre-industrial levels. If the adjective-balance goes chaotic, we will have a big problem.” Others question whether it is even possible for humans to impact the adjective balance. Industry insiders like journalists and editors state changes in the adjective-balance are the natural outcome of our changing planet. Corporate boards assert that additional factors have a more direct impact on the adjective-balance like advertising revenue, economic evisceration, and payroll cutback.  Read more...

A CSIRO marine and atmospheric research team has reported findings that climate change causes an increase in the jellyfish population. “The team believes that for the first time, water conditions could lead to what they call a jellyfish-stable-state, in which jellyfish rule the oceans…”

Oh, fear, agony, concern…Snore…

Oops, let’s try again by enlivening the facts surrounding those slimy denizens of the deep: How a jellyfish-stable-state will ruin the world–stung by a prosaic coma, the article approaches death’s door.

Once more…

Jellyfish not only appear to be taking over the ocean and crowding out other species–the jellyfish culture has somehow incubated itself into the human experience threatening to alter our species via bizarre cross-species fertilization. (Gee, I’d love to write something about genetic engineering causing cross-species illness, but I won’t…Honest.) The increase in jellyfish appears to have facilitated a metaphorical transformation in our species–an ephemeral, yet gelatinous, invasion of the body snatchers. There, that’s much better.

You didn’t you really think this was a serious piece? On jellyfish?

To Wit:  Read more...

August 6 was anything but a bucolic August afternoon. After as much as six inches of rain fell in three hours, a flash flood gathered in Charlotte, North Carolina. Mobilized through networked climate systems, Hadley Cells, the Coriolis Effect, Kelvin Waves, and the Walker Circulation, the flash flood destroyed property and disrupted commerce. More and more network induced flash floods are materializing across the globe, leaving some scrambling to minimize the spontaneous assemblies of weather.

In 2009, floods that assaulted London were believed to have gotten together due to anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance. London remains the poster-child for flooding due to the changing climate. Water, attributed to flash floods swells the Thames over and over, spreading into the countryside, inundating shopping districts, and harming people. Many of Britain’s towns report they are being targeted by unruly storms using flash flood tactics.

Across the United States this spring, flash floods arrived via the jet stream causing several million dollars in damage. The loss of lives, thankfully, wasn’t excessive thanks to improved forecasting techniques. But, the sheer size of the storms, their speed of formation, and their impacts on infrastructure has made media spin all but impossible.  Read more...

SUMMARY:
We, the Department of Lobby Energy (the DOLE), announces a 90–day finding on two petitions to list American coal (Ploratus Carbo Sacrilegus) (coal) as an endangered economic subspecies and designate critical habitat outside the Fossil Fuels EN of 2005, as amended (Act).
Although not listed as a species, coal is currently listed as threatened within the broader listing of Fossil Fuels. Based on our review, we find that current petitions present substantial scientific information indicating that coal may warrant listing as endangered. One of the petitions also requested the adding of nuclear (Absque Casus) as a subspecies in fossil fuels; however, we view this petition as without merit. With the publication of this notice, we are initiating a review of the status of coal to determine if listing coal as an endangered subspecies is warranted.

SUPPLEMENTARY INFORMATION:
We seek information on:
(1) The use of coal for power generation:

A) A 500 MW coal generator (an average size) uses about 3,900 tons of coal per day, or 1,430,000 tons of coal per year.

(2) The range of coal:  Read more...

Old Macdonald has a farm. E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm, he has some corn. Wow! I see. Why moan?
His corn was food,
Now its booze,
Ethanol’s here
Revenue’s clear.
Old Macdonald had a farm. So, he grows Old Crow.

Old Macdonald scans the farm. It’s either floods or drought
On his farm, he had a twister. Some strange weather, mister.
What’s the cause?
Mac starts to mope.
La Nina’s it.
CO2’s for dopes.
Ethanol’s here
Buy ever clear.
Old Macdonald had a farm. It’s wacky storms. So what?

Old Macdonald has a farm, in the danger zone.
Cause on his farm, he once had soil, now its sand and stone.
With twisters here,
Windstorms there,
Soil bakes,
Then it flakes,
It flies to the east
Passed the great five lakes,
La Nina’s it.
Don’t be dumb.
Take our word
We’re your chum.
Old Macdonald needs some dirt. Oh, just get a loan.

Old Macdonald has a farm. Now it’s just bright sparks
And on his farm, he once had herds–instead of smoky marks.
Dry lightning here,
Rumbling there,
That’s a corpse,
His poor zapped horse.
Soil to the east
It flies to the lakes.
La Nina’s it.
CO2s for flakes.
Ethanol’s here
Parasites there
Old Macdonald scans the sky. How come there’s no rain?  Read more...

Company Overview:

As the leading global provider of perplexity and bewilderment, our teams deliver ignorance on a global scale and confusion all the way down to the desktop. Through SaaS (Suspicion as a Service), we cripple public will, diminish corporate oversight, muddy economic lucidity, hobble scientific investigation, and ultimately incapacitate entire communities through the big lie and arcane search results. We understand what it takes to bamboozle both policy makers and the public at large. With the right experience, you can be part of this exciting opportunity to cloud clarity for millions.

We are excited to announce we are looking for a Senior Level Information Manipulation Executive to lead a team of environmental hacks, applications programmers, and edgy scientific shills manipulating public perception on environmentally conscious initiatives. Use your advanced software skills to hack emails and develop an avalanche of apparently objective commentary to drown out knowledgeable researchers. Through suspect institutions, fictitious personae, and political toadies, create firestorms of indignation. Help exterminate critical thinking. Bastardize SEO through algorithmic terrorism. Do you have what it takes to dumpster dive the Internet to find the miscues or mistakes of others and blow them out of proportion? Can you unearth the Internet Data Zombies containing passé information and use them to destroy respect?  Read more...

Two decades ago, financial leaders committed harakiri when they impaled themselves on carbon economy rhetoric. Bleeding irrational logic the emperors of excess then assaulted science–making any sane transition to a sustainable economy almost impossible. As a result, the Black Swan strategy has hatched and the business community has garnered substantial losses due to climate events–even though many of the losses were predictable and addressable, while their remediation was potentially profitable and socially redeeming. Laughably, many in the investment community were peeved to have collided with a planetary reality–and with lemming-like ferocity–now seek out a push-back strategy.

Today, the economy, the paramour of tycoons, is deemed to have achieved dominion over the changing climate–as if reality were a cat-house and science a tart. Even as the changing climate with its cascading economic ramifications inspires an emerging market need, CYA. A set of financial instruments that assume shortsightedness, ineptitude, stupidity, and greed will ruin our society. In a phrase: Systemic global seppuku is our future.

Thankfully–in this fast moving pleasantry for dealing with the trans-generational prostitution of reality–we are treated to comic relief: The strategy for CYA is preposterously called Tail Risk. (I wish I’d made that up.)  Read more...

Recently there have been a number of layoffs in software companies, news outlets, and other white-collar organizations here in the U.S. The laid-off are information workers. On the face of it, that seems laughable. Isn’t this the Information Age? Why remove skilled knowledge workers from the team when the whole point of the game is developing information into leverage?

Sigh…Well yes, thank you for your interest in our society, but you don’t appear current on how the marketplace turns information into leverage. To do that you must understand the opportunities in hiring and firing knowledge-workers, from the perspective of upper management and those who hold equity positions in companies. Then the apparent paradox of eliminating knowledge workers will make sense. For the sake of clarity, let’s pick on a journalist in a news company. Let’s call this journalist, this knowledge worker, Commodity1.

Event: Commodity1 is canned.  Read more...

After a long debate, it has been agreed by the COP, Conference Of Parties, that an extension to the Kyoto Protocols is unlikely. The Kyoto Protocols, a worldwide plan for the reduction of GHGs has had a rocky ride these last few years as various industry groups have fought the plan in conjunction with certain developing and developed nations. A new, more widely accepted, and easily understood strategy has been developed.

A spokesperson for ANIS, American National Institute for Stupid, summed up the new strategy for dealing with anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance this way: “ANIS is proud of its involvement in killing the Kyoto Protocols as well as any rational debate regarding human impacts on the climate. We look forward to continued fruitful lobbying efforts aimed at obliterating legislation that limits economic expansion for humanitarian reasons.”

Alternative protocols to Kyoto have been under evaluation.

ANIS continued: “We are proud to say that after two years of extensive study on the climate problem by the Heritage Institute, the Heartland Institute, the American Enterprise Institute, the fossil fuel industry, two interns from an Atlanta cooking school, and a soon to be retiring veterinarian from Cicero, a new protocol has been developed. As a follow on to the Kyoto Protocols, the word DOOM is to be eliminated in all of the world’s languages.”  Read more...

From: W. Smith–Ministry of Truth–Oceania
To: All Staff
Subject: Deck chair arrangement on the Titanic
Date: May 30, 2011

Reports of increases in waterspouts, tornadoes, and other peculiar weather phenomena are to be ignored by staff. Work on rearrangement of the deck chairs for the Titanic will continue unabated.

Further, additional cyclonic activity, early monsoon activity, and rogue wave activity are to be discounted at once by all supervisors. This is a follow on to my earlier memo where you were advised to discount increases in drought, flood, hurricanes, hail, extinction rates, tectonic activity, pestilence, disease, worldwide decreases in crop yields, and sea level rise. The Ministry of Love will be advised of your activities.

Next, personnel that insist on linking these events to anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance are to be reprimanded immediately and forced to repeat our glorious mantra: “No single event can be tied to the changing climate.”

Lastly, meetings are scheduled at nine and eleven to discuss placement of the deck chairs. At two and four, we will be discussing the placement of the chaise sections as well as the hassocks. At eight, twelve, five, and eleven we will be discussing placement of the TVs and other media sources. Please make sure to keep all these appointments, as they are critical to the display of our well being here on the Titanic.  Read more...

In an effort to write about the most bizarre topic possible, I thought I would write about climate models. In this case, a climate model that policy makers in the developed nations, the developing nations, the UN, and the NGOs are using to simulate the climate over time. The policy-maker’s objective in using this model is to examine how different national policy options on GHGs (Greenhouse Gases) will affect human society.

For example: If country X cuts its output of CO2 by 60% by 2030, how will that impact the global society? On the face of it, this “what if” software is a useful tool for climate negotiators and policy-makers to help them decide where the correct balance is for coping with GHGs.

Sounds good to me, George–let the farce begin:

An interesting bit of information in this model is the affect that unbridled GHGs have on economic output. In the “business as usual” scenario according to the model, the effect that GHGs have on economic growth is zilch, zero, nada, nil, zip, not a bit. If fact, according to this simulator software, if GHGs are allowed to rise in the “business as usual” scenario (nothing is done to mitigate GHGs–a scenario considered the devil’s workshop by most environmentalists), world GDP rises from $78 Trillion in 2011 to almost $800 trillion worldwide by 2080.  Read more...

The Green House
Office of the Press Secretary
________________________________________________________________
For Immediate Release April 23, 2011

Statement from Gaia on Events Surrounding Commerce-based WMD

The Green House is troubled by reports of continued development of WMDs by the economic engines of both the developing nations and the developed nations. Gaia has made a number of calls to both foreign and domestic leaders regarding the ongoing situation with little response. As a result, surgical strikes have been undertaken at high value targets both here in the US, and abroad. This release will detail the latest on Gaia’s efforts to curtail the development and deployment of WMDs.

As you know, it was determined 250 years ago that humanity was beginning to develop–and deliver–planetary wide WMDs in the form of CO2 and other GHGs. This was confirmed 30 years ago by our intelligence assets located in the stratosphere, troposphere, and the tropopause. Faced with the challenge of dealing with these WMDs the Green House, in conjunction with the DoA (Department of Atmosphere), immediately began to examine alternatives that might limit the production of WMDs. To that end, a number of high value targets were identified. And in an effort to convince the parties that further development of WMDs is not only unwise–but dangerous as well–two of these targets have been assaulted by precision weather-based strikes.  Read more...

Seriously, folks, how does media do it? To fulfill the task of NEWS, the media has to spend 24/7 looking for hideous circumstance–or even better–circumstance that leads to outrage. Then produce columns of scorn, pictures of evil, witty flash with indignation, careful clarification on the crafty affluent, troubled terms apropos the drug ridden poor, blasts at the government, vapid indignation at corruption, commerce-based concern at corporate contempt, and my all time favorite: myopic melodies producing diminutive murmurs about the degrading milieu. And have you ever spoken to someone who was at the core of a NEWS story?

They always say the same thing: The reporters got it wrong. What’s up with that? Is NEWS a process to control information and dumb down America; is it the left wing media? Both reports are juvenile.

Others say we all love a good tragedy with a happy ending–that NEWS is just media–our chorus. Let’s try that theory. I am going to blog (I hate that word) with the chorus in mind: This morning there was a tragedy somewhere. My dog is happy. Nice people live down the block and they invited me over for brunch. The schoolchildren are laughing. I had a wonderful time with my new lover and I saw Like Water for Chocolate for the fifteenth time. (Could have been worse, it could have been Amelie.) If I light a bomb in your computer, would it wake you up now? I doubt it.  Read more...

“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s a miserable stormy day here in the Midwest. Welcome to opening day of 2011 Tornado Season. I am your host Random Mishap and this WSPN, a station for all seasons–with apologies.”

“This year we will be covering the 2011 Tornado Season in depth, with reports from ravaged cities, destroyed malls, mangled homes, and incapacitated manufacturing locations–in addition to trailer parks and the empty prairie. On a lighter note: the President did not throw the first bit of debris from this season’s opener–as has been the tradition in the previous administration. Due to a rules change, a member of Congress has handled that task. Now this message.”

“WSPN–the people that brought you the 2010 Hurricane Season, the 2010 Flood Season, the 2010 International Earthquake, Cyclone, and Tsunami Season, the 2010 Disease and Pestilence Season now announces an expansion of coverage for the up-coming 2011 Fire Season–which this year will go well beyond the LA basin and National Forests to include all of California, Texas, Colorado, and Florida. Texas currently leads the league with an early season blaze that obliterated 190 square miles of the Lone Star State. Wow! Expansion seems to be the watchword in this year’s Fire Season so can a major media contract be far behind? Sources tell WSPN that various fast food chains are all negotiating for a media tie in with their flame-broiled products. Stay tuned for more on this important story.”  Read more...

Time to face reality: The nation state is dead and the corporate state is on the upswing. Our corporate parents and their progeny, the ubiquitous lobbyists, own the conduits of power. Therefore, I suggest that we immediately embrace these next logical steps in our society’s growth:

1) We declare the United States and all the other nations of the planet to be window dressing and abandon them.
2) We embrace the concept of slavery.

The logic here is hard to miss. Corporate entities generate jobs, wealth, the flow of ideas and the creation of capital. A national state focuses on a community of citizens–or it used to. We all know that without a strong economy we have nothing. Why should we keep the middleman of government–an operational expense taking up billions of dollars for graft?

Do away with this national-nonsense that hobbles the growth of corporate power, siphons needed capital, and step boldly forward. Fan the entity that exists solely for profit, allow its canon–rather than leaving it behind a veil of governmental opera–and privatize everything! Forget justice, forget science, forget religion, and remember profits. Can you feel me?  Read more...

This is the primary energy flow by source and sector for the United States in 2009. There are caveats galore, but you get the picture (I guess it wasn’t as obvious as I had thought, so I have added):

The nuclear electric option provides about 22% of our utility power. Overall, nuclear provides only about 8.3% of our nation’s energy needs. This output from nuclear is not worth the hazards of nuclear. And when you compare the risks of new nuclear facilities to the risk of new renewables the only reasonable option is renewables. Renewables are redundant, nonpolluting, disperse, relatively cheaper to replace, and can be effective in baseload.

But, if the baseload issue concerns you, rather than nuclear, the better option is effective CO2 reduction from coal facilities. For those who do not know, the cost for removing the CO2 is in the $200-$300 million range–per coal powered generating facility.

For information on CO2 gas removal technology check out the Greehouse Gas Control Technologies Conferences .

Or the work being done in Germany by BASF.

The chart came from the US Energy Information Administration.

*Reader Beware: Having just returned from a technology conference, I’ve developed a rare flu called Acronymitis–inflammation of the acronym–so please bear with me.

The oceans are beginning to intrude into places that we once considered safe, like San Francisco. Some suggested solutions are:

• *MLR (Maginot Line Redone), a fortification against the intruding ocean. This reinvigoration of a wildly ineffective World War II strategy is currently deployed in London and other places.
• *NCB (North Carolina Boogie), dredging sand, moving it to the beach, and then gluing the beach back together every so often.
• *CHL (Chicken-little Has Legs), preparing for the ocean’s intrusion by relocating infrastructure, homes, and businesses someplace else.

None of these solutions are okay. Why, because sea level rise isn’t the issue.

Have some irony: All the rational steps are ugly. The irrational steps are attractive and full of hope; care to guess which options currently hold sway in the halls of power? Right–let’s ignore the whole problem–just kidding.  Read more...

“On February 24, 2011, the Australian Government announced the introduction of a carbon tax beginning on July 1, 2012. The tax will transition to a cap-and-trade-system within five years. A multi-party parliamentary committee agreed upon the program as part of a blueprint for dealing with climate change.”

Huh?

While carbon trading is a minor step forward, you might still wonder who, or what, has abducted our heretofore-staunch, coal-fired allies in the battle against the environmental bleat. Our once trusted raconteur of “Carbon dioxide remediation hurts the economy,” our blessed anthem, has slithered away from the seam. How could our Aussie chums emerge like so many jellyfish?

Originally, to understand this earthshaking shift, I had an ore boat full of data on damage from this year’s energized climate–from bananas to coal, wheat to beef, sugar to housing. The numbers in my arsenal were stoked, sizzling,  and ready to roll–carbon free and hot as a Cyclone Furnace. I chronicled damage to Australian exports, reductions of growth–enough economic numbers to flood an area the size of France; I had increases in inflation, decreases in Kiwi GNP, snippets of human sorrow, stranded railcars full of financial side quotes, and a tsunami of human waste–enough to choke a wastewater plant–my category-five-deluge of details, destined to drown the Bowen Basin. I was cookin’, sixteen-with-a-bullet, sanctimony dripping off every alliterative keystroke; my environmental quiver brimming with barbs of economic comeuppance. Knockout pearls guided by quills of enlightenment; all aimed at the coal-blackened hearts of the corporate agenda. It was so…Holy. I even had scientific findings to share.  Read more...

The defining issue of our generation will be our culture’s response to human forcing of the planet’s radiative balance. So far, our clumsy response to the crisis is not the fault of science, technology, or a lack of riches. Our pitiful response is the result of a societal rot fostered by a leadership that now believes Cain was correct. To achieve an effective response, we must refocus our resources in ways that support the ideals that founded this nation.

Oppression of the weak, the poor, the less educated, and the trusting–by the strong, the more sophisticated, and the more powerful, better-connected forces–was not how America was conceived. We are a civilized nation; a nation that exists under a social contract of mutual defense and support of all her citizens. As a people, we must adhere to the social contract of our nation. It is a social contract that also declares we are free–and that we will fight for our freedoms against all aggressors, foreign and domestic. Along with that, we state in our Constitution that we are an enlightened nation, a nation that cares for its people and recognizes that the use of unfair leverage by other entities against the people of the United States of America is unlawful. As citizens of a nation conceived under these high ideals, it is up to every generation to preserve and protect those ideals. And while we may not be able to live those ideals, the act of honoring those ideals strengthens those ideals and it strengthens our country. Conversely, the process of weakening those ideals weakens our country.  Read more...

So you just don’t understand why “they” don’t get it. 

Wait, which they? In this case, the “they” is the guys with the money, and more specifically, the World Bank. We know the folks at the World Bank have quantified the cost of carbon dioxide, or they are trying to. A noble steed, no doubt, can’t they see the horror that awaits us?

Or maybe they are fudging the numbers? Would you believe it’s the numbers that tell them there is no problem?

Seriously now…The folks at the World Bank have determined the cost of CO2, in terms of damage to mother earth’s economy, due to human forcing of the climate. They, and a bunch of people concerned with paying the bills–think insurance companies–have agreed the costs will  be $100 a ton for carbon, not CO2 and perhaps as high as $225 a ton for carbon, again not CO2. The numbers might change as more data arrives and that is peachy.

Wow, as high as $225 a ton. The carbon traders are having trouble getting $50 a ton.  Wahoo! We finally have some real numbers to work with and those number are going to be THE LEVER to get some real work done on the climate problem. Right?  Read more...