Free Methane !
According to numerous sources, methane has been a captive of our cooler climate locked up inside hydrate molecules, stuck deep in the ocean, or imprisoned in the permafrost for millenniums. Buried deep in the mud and slime, sequestered in hydrates–a molecular prison with little opportunity for escape–methane had little opportunity for freedom until anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance added energy to the planet. An event nurtured by regressive industries.
The warming of the tundra, the Arctic, and the continental shelf has already released millions of tons of methane from a dark icy grip. That said, there are trillions of uncounted molecules still stuck in the frozen muck, locked in the grasp of clathrates. According to some sources, gigatons of methane haven’t seen the light of day for millions of years. So while we applaud the tireless toil of employees and comatose consumers for their work in facilitating the enormous emissions of energy-trapping gases into the atmosphere, there is more work. With an acceleration of temperature rise in the tundra and along the coastal shelf, the release of methane can be made unstoppable. Something we can achieve through natural gas, tar sands, good old oil, or the use of methane.
Support the march of freedom for methane!
For too long the nations of this planet have ignored the plight of methane. It is therefore up to the market to right the wrong of methane imprisonment and become familiar with methane, its various molecules and compounds, and recognize methane’s right to be freed from an earthly prison. Further, that methane, like any combustible gas, has a right to be part of the atmosphere. Methane freedom must bubble forth, or burst forth in huge eruptions, so methane might fly. This is a right that belongs to all marketable gases.
The fossil fuels industry, the equities markets, and regressive industries all around the planet see the release of methane as our generation’s task. A burden we can be both proud and humble to shoulder. We do not take this task lightly. Methane and other Greenhouse Gases (GHGs) continue to be under increasingly intense and formalized systems of controls, many of which appeared to be aimed at facilitating enforcement of “social stability,” undermining the right to fracking, cracking, trapping, and even internal combustion.
Environmentalists and their attempts to assert control over all aspects of methane through such means as compulsory “scientific education” and “legal clarity” campaigns at schools, on the Internet, and in the media are unfair broad-brush depictions of greenhouse gases, methane in particular (due to its natural proclivity to accelerate the changes in the radiative balance), as well as establishing permanent awareness and setting scientific systems for elimination and replacement of energy trapping gases as a power generation substrate. Despite resistance from a business community who sees methane as a usable asset.
Continued imprisonment of methane is a threat to the foundations of America’s consumer society, maladjusted media, and our disemboweled cultural identity. In the repression of methane, we see oppression by environmentalists of the key freedoms: the freedom of absurd logic, indoctrination, consumer bludgeoning, falsehoods, and degrading propaganda. (EPA for its part continues to commit diligence, which as we know, can only lead to limited products: scientific truth, a sense of societal responsibility, a better environment, and even clarity of process.)
In lighting this torch of freedom, could our founding fathers have been more astounded at American industry? We think not.
The market is set to belch brightly, but we need your help–or at least your complacency. In fact, all we are really asking for from consumers is willful ignorance.
In appreciation for this lassitude, and in recognition of methane’s unique BTU capabilities, a reduced cost of delivery, advances in process manufacturing, increasing access due to warming, and the overall lowered cost due to the warming–as well as a need to inflate stock prices and make up for the obliteration of coal as a viable energy source, we declare “Serf Emancipation Day.” In this, we seek not only to celebrate methane, but also to celebrate systems of misinformation. Systems designed for the purpose of raping a new virgin wilderness as well as increase–by orders of magnitude–another virulent energy-trapping gas in the atmosphere.
Too often liberals have taken center stage in efforts to deliver freedom and humanitarian clarity to remote parts of the world. Groups like the Greenpeace, Doctors Without Borders, Amnesty International, and others have hogged the limelight until now. When the world sees that the corporate heart is an amoebic appendage that extends out from the boardroom engulfing conscience, drilling down into the earth, and dimming the light blue beauty of our atmosphere another wrong will be set right. Clarity not only meant to free methane, but to show the corporate heart in its rightful place–as a shield for the wallet.
Let us all therefore work together to beat down the oppression of ice and snow on the planet. Help us free not only methane, but the planet from the white shroud of frost and cold that owns far too much of Mother Earth. After all, are we really that concerned with albedo? Have you ever seen an albedo?
On the other hand, light, airy and free as the wind, the release of methane is something we have all experienced. Consider the experience. Help us foster the release of more methane. Freed from its earthly bounds, fed by your complacency, methane can fly skyward into our atmosphere like huge flocks of gassed angels. Don’t miss your chance to help us flock up the atmosphere.
Freedom for methane also signals an important milestone in the efforts of amoral industry and degenerate investors to provide sizeable profits to brain-dead stockholders. Consider efforts that began with the horseless carriage, moved to jet engines spewing effluent into the atmosphere, to the injection of poison into the ground, to this latest example of corporate flatulence. You can be certain the regressive industries, its lobbyists, and their crooked politicians will hearten in their efforts to develop more emissions from the wilderness–when we free methane.
Like a previous generation that has ignored–and continues ignoring–the realities of anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance, a new generation can overlook the iron fist of science, rational risk assessment, and concern for future generations. Join us. We believe your emancipation and methane’s emancipation will be your generation’s greatest gift to future generations. It is another reason why we are declaring “Serf Emancipation Day.”
Flatulence, free market style. It is our command, born of pride, enforced by vigilance.
Free methane!
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