To Wit:
(Voice Over)
–Now. Breaking News, live from CAN, the Climatebull Action Network
Our reporter, Stephen Schneider, explains–
(Cut to reporter)
“Climatebull scientists are today releasing the most detailed simulation of our warming climate ever created. Called an irrefutable model that leaves no doubt as to our future, legislators worldwide have tuned in to see the results due out in a few minutes. Here to explain this wonder of science, computation, and communication is the lead scientist on the project, Dr. Hephaestus Rex.”
“Thank you, Steve. Providing a definitive simulation of where we humans are going in response to our forcing of the radiative balance has been a daunting problem. And not just because of the corruption in our politics, but rather the difficulty in accurately modeling a non-linear system over time. The Close-Coupled-Trailer-Model is the result of years of research on human factors, thousands of lines of code, and millions of dollars in computing time. Climate as you know is a non-linear system. That is, a Chaotic system. Think butterfly effect. Therefore it is difficult to crunch the numbers precisely. As importantly, there is the need to display the result in an evocative, irrefutable way that provides both the public and policy-makers with clear, concise information packaged in an understandable format.”
“This is so exciting, Doctor. Please continue.”
“In just a few seconds, the linked supercomputers of the planet will finish crunching through billions of calculations and display the coming oscillations of our changing climate. We will all soon see as if our current strategy of ‘business as usual’ is a safe strategy or one that pushes us further into the tipping point.
“A highly granular model with an accuracy rate of 99.999%, the simulation we are about to see through the Close-Coupled-Trailer-Model displays what our future looks like if current policy is implemented. That because the software fully displays the affect of too much energy on the Chaotic system that is our planet’s climate as we move on down the road.
“The Close-Coupled-Trailer-Model presents an elegant, accurate, yet tractable picture of our climate energizing over time, er, ah warming over time, providing to lawmakers an unambiguous answer as to whether our current policies are correct–or if we should take our foot off the gas of fossil fuels production and slow down. Something that has been an elusive target for scientists since the mid 1980’s when scientists at the US Department of Energy presented this same data in a different format. Oh, here we go…”
“Any questions?”
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